Fishpond Australia, Early Decision: Based on a True Frenzy by LacyCrawfordBuy . And I guarantee you it hasn't happened yet. What I did instead was help him figure out what it was he loved to study and what he might wish to pursue. But the crisis has nothing to do with rich kids not getting in; it has everything to do with everyone else not even knowing where to begin. You can figure out how to get into a school if you read this book, but I think you can also figure out how to get out of the whole craziness in the first place. And I was confident that that document and others would be included in the state's investigation into the school. I certainly didn't know what the criminal justice terms would have been. That wasn’t happening when I first started out. I have heard from St. Paul's schoolmates who say, I know who did this to you. https://www.redbookmag.com/life/interviews/a15989/lacy-crawford-interview One of them is the fact that you contracted an STD from the assault. What’s going on now is that some of the schools are early action so they let you apply to other schools “early action” as well. And then friends told me I was already too late to apply for preschool for my son and needed to hurry up and get on the list. Being able to write the book required coming to understand exactly which words at least captured the experience of it and then which words I could use that would help other people to understand what it was that had happened to me. If you have to turn around a lot of pieces on a deadline, you do learn something of efficiency, how to just get over yourself and get it done. Everyone wants to stand out and everyone wants to have a yes in their pocket going into the regular season. It’s not terribly dissimilar to journalism. CRAWFORD: Two pieces of this make me burn. They were my friends. We talk about the college application crisis. I remember one morning I was working on an application that had essay questions about my son. It makes me emotional to say that. Drawing on her 15 years of experience counseling high school students with their college applications, she satirizes one six-month push for five high school seniors. There's been a profile in The New York Times. And this is not unique to St. Paul's School. Savvy...the hearts of the students beat a true, steady rhythm throughout the novel. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted by two fellow students one night in October 1990. Is most of Early Decision based on your first few years working with these kids? The son of Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber celebrated his high school graduation. I am ashamed. That’s kind of heartbreaking because if I were able to sit down with them for two hours I might be helpful, but that’s not my job anymore. “There’s something really wrong with my throat,” I said. The students I’ve been in touch with are having a great time reading it, but there’s a bit of a selection bias involved. If you’re a parent or a kid who has never done this before, it’s like figuring out in March that you have to learn how to file your taxes by April 15. So, where did they go to college? It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. By the time I finished doing this it had become a flat-out race. As another movement in my life, this wasn’t only a change in schools, but also in the person I would become. Shut up and write something.”. How Severe Is Your State's Coronavirus Outbreak? Instead, she got a memorable life lesson in snap judgments. I think some of them hired me quite simply so the mothers would have someone to call when they were freaking out after their glass of wine at dinner. Cindy Crawford, her husband and their two children. What we've been missing - or at least I was missing - is to show them the forces that are arrayed against them and that are, in fact, asking them to carry that responsibility and carry that shame. College admissions is the culmination of every parent’s ambition and anxiety. And Lacy Crawford joins us now from her home in Southern California. They all want to know if they’re in it. Users Report Unwanted Advances On Networking Site, The Latest COVID-19 Shortage Is Canning Lids, Rabbi Shira Stutman Remembers Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It became kind of clear to you after the fact when you were young and then more clear later on looking at these documents that doctors knew this. There were achievement tests, there were multiple essays. We're having this conversation now. It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. So I panicked and called some schools and sent over applications. She documents that assault at the school and its long aftermath in her new memoir, "Notes On A Silencing." DETROW: And how's a note like that make you feel? The first is that, yes, I contracted herpes so deep in my throat that it couldn't be seen on ordinary exam. Those students go on to become luminaries - judges, authors, even secretaries of state. But nobody knew why or what had happened to me. And why did you think it was important to start off this book by saying, this is what I grappled with? But I have to say I’m getting many requests for help. As I got older, and I did this more and more, I started to feel that if the student couldn’t work out the deadlines on his own, he didn’t deserve to go to that school and I wasn’t going to do the work for him. It's the sweetest time to give. When I was in school, that’s what everyone did, and I graduated from college in 2009. St. Paul's School in Concord, N.H., is one of the top boarding schools in the nation. What changed about the admissions process over the 15 years that you did this? I didn’t have a degree in education or counseling or anything, but I had grown up an overachiever in a family and a community that put a lot of pressure on the same type of thing. My work with students tapered off dramatically in 2010, after I had my first child. Sen. Cory Booker Opposes Filling Supreme Court Vacancy Before Election, 'Miami Herald' Investigating How Racist Insert Was Distributed In Paper For Months, Nation Relying On Military As Fire Rescue Resources Dwindle, Bishop Michael Curry Preaches The Power Of Love To Find 'Hope In Troubling Times', Tinder, Bumble...LinkedIn? They go on to say, the way forward includes acknowledging and reckoning with our past in which there have been known and as yet unknown experiences of suffering and abuse. ‘Early Decision’ author Lacy Crawford breaks down the college admissions craziness for Lizzie Crocker. CRAWFORD: I'm actually keeping a list in a small notebook here that I began just to make sure I replied to the notes that were coming in and that I now have continued because it reads to me like a poem. We admire her courage and respect her voice. DETROW: It also seemed like your parents really struggled with their response. CRAWFORD: Right. I wonder, given what the school did to you, what your response is to a statement like that. When did you begin to dance, and how soon did you know that you wanted to pursue dance professionally? When did you decide to chronicle this part of your life? And what have they said? Lacy Crawford, the author drew from her experience as a college admissions counselor to give us a view of the upper mclass and upper middle class vie for a place at an Ivy League college for their child. The gift that I could give to these students who had terrible writer’s block was telling them: “We need 11 essays and we’re going to do 10 drafts of each of them. I looked over and he was lying on the carpet on his back and I thought, “Oh my god, this is how it happens. Suddenly there were all these standardized tests online. Presley Gerber, 17, can add high school graduate to his growing list of accomplishments. I wanted to go back to school and be a senior and apply to college and pretend none of this had ever happened. These are the parents who have sought to enroll their child in the best preschool when they first find out that they are pregnant. I'm so sorry. DETROW: Can we walk through some of the specifics and some of the things that were really made clear to you on paper decades later? NPR's Scott Detrow speaks with author Lacy Crawford about her new memoir, Notes on a Silencing, about her sexual assault at an elite boarding school in Concord, New Hampshire. It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. DETROW: Lacy Crawford is the author of "Notes On A Silencing.". Booklist. Not only did this intimate investigative memoir usher in a media storm of coverage, but it also prompted the elite St. Paul's School to issue a formal apology to the author, Lacy Crawford, for its handling of her report of sexual assault by two fellow students nearly thirty years ago. I also had students that I took on pro bono from underserved schools who were the first in their family to go to college. And the school is under new leadership now. I think this happens everywhere all the time. And when I found out it wasn't going to be, I truly didn't feel I had a choice any longer. Although many of my peers did go to colleges, I can’t remember having one conversation about the SAT, or the college essay. My fantasy is that it will be empowering—as much as I think “empower” is a terrible word. What did you learn as a writer from your work with these kids? She’s trying to help him recognize the subjects that are truly interesting to him. This was from the rector, essentially the principal of the school. So I started writing the book as a private investigation. Other places are covering this book. Also, moving around as much as I did when I was younger inspired me to create my own path and solid day-to-day life. Some of it is the common application—the fact that it’s easier to send an application to a school than it was when I was applying 20 years ago or more. They silenced me once when I was 15, 16 years old, and they weren't going to get away with it again. I got more involved in their lives as the years went on. It’s a last hurrah for a parent—the last thing they feel they can mastermind before they lose their child to independence. I realized that going to Ethel Walker could do just that. Author Lacy Crawford Looks Back At Her Sexual Assault In New Memoir There were billionaires who flew me all over the place. November is a busy time for college applications, a mixture of excitement and dread, hope and fear, determination and insanity. I’m not grading you. I felt like I could relate to the experiences these kids were having. Those students go on to become luminaries - … Can you tell us a bit about that and how you work through the way that your family dealt with this, too? I think they allowed me my agency in that, and I'm grateful to them for that. Those students go on to become luminaries - judges, authors, even secretaries of state. And then you talk about how you finally reached this point of peace. It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. Have you heard from any of your peers, your classmates? The second part of this is the exposure, the shaming. Here are the institutions that were lucky enough to have them: Spencer — Georgetown University. The school knew this. I want all of the girls and women who have ever been made to carry the blame for the aggression of men, the aggression of others - I wanted them to see that they were intended to carry that blame and that it was never theirs. CRAWFORD: I know that when it happened to me, I did not have words for what was happening. No one bothered to tell you. We talked to Crawford about dealing with overbearing parents, how the admissions process has changed over the years—and how to get into the school of your choice without getting trampled in the college rat race. I had to see a specialist. She’s trying to help him recognize the subjects that are truly interesting to him. And as you said, people now apply to 20 schools, if they don’t go the early decision route. And in fact, they told the lacrosse team before they told you. But there were also plenty of normal parents whose kids were in public high schools and who felt overwhelmed because their college counselors had 100 kids and they had no idea where to begin. People talked about their auditions! CRAWFORD: That, to me, is astonishing. State’s Return On $25 Million Venture Capital Investment Unclear, Audit Says, With COVID Vaccinations Underway, Some Frontline Workers Are Hesitant To Receive It, McConnell Relents On Senate Filibuster Stalemate. He’s written a first draft that is boring and aimless, and it’s going to cost him in the admissions process. Some of that is just demographics and more kids applying to these schools. DETROW: You know, at the beginning of the book, you wrestle with what words to use to describe what happened - sexual assault, aggravated assault, sexual misconduct, rape. (SOUNDBITE OF THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA SONG, "TO BUILD A HOME") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR. I’m not your English teacher. The only way to speak to that kind of gossip was to tell what had happened to me, and I really didn't want to. Click or call 800-RADIO-87 to donate. Growing up in Seattle, Crawford played for Rainier Beach High, a school that has produced a number of other NBA and college players such as Doug Christie, Nate Robinson, Terrence Williams, Kevin Porter Jr., and Dejounte Murray.Jamal led the Vikings to capture the 1998 Washington Interscholastic Activities Association (WIAA) State Championship. It seems logistically challenging but not yet philosophically challenging. DETROW: You write so powerfully about how, years later, it would enter your life in these really jarring ways with stray comments that people would make to you. There are plenty of people contacting me already, asking for advice about college. And that’s just the parents. CRAWFORD: I would like to say, don't be afraid. When I first started doing this work I had 15 or 20 students a year, and I focused much more on helping them with the nuts and bolts, helping them to establish deadlines, that sort of thing. (Reading) No one would want a teenager or any family to go through the experience that Lacy describes in her precise and powerful language. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted … Frankly, I got lucky. I'm going to share every detail, and I'm going to tell my story. The wealthier families and micromanaging parents really stick out in the book. Lacy Crawford served for fifteen years as a highly discreet independent college admissions counselor to the children of powerful clients in cities such as New York, Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and London. Lizzie Crocker Updated Jul. Thank you for telling your story. He’s written a first draft that is boring and aimless, and it’s going to cost him in the admissions process. Books online: Early Decision: Based on a True Frenzy, 2013, Fishpond.com.au From the privileged daughter of a Duke University trustee to the inner-city kid who taught herself about immigration reform, their admissions journeys take them through endless rewrites of Common App essays, counseling sessions at their sprawling suburban homes, and after-hours phone conversations with sniveling mothers and passive aggressive fathers desperate to secure their children slots at Ivy League schools. This is how it begins.” I’d been secretly judging these parents for ten years but there I was, ready to step on the same moving walkway, and I thought, “I know how this ends.” This ends with me hiring someone like me to get my kid into college. CRAWFORD: I will be honest with you and say that represents progress. That was eye-opening and foreign to me. We have a female rector for the first time in the school's more-than-160-year history. I don’t do this for money anymore, but there are people who are important to me asking for help because they’re applying to law school or business school or Fulbright or Rhodes. So yes, I was deeply involved. It’s the same rate, just shifted two months earlier. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted by two fellow students one night in October 1990. I think it made writing less precious. And I would like to say, don't be ashamed. By Andrea Bent. That’s what Lacy Crawford ’96 does in her debut novel about college admissions. And the pain was so bad that you write it felt like you had swallowed a piece of glass, and it would not go down. It’s awful and terrifying. I wouldn’t reach out to the people whose stories are directly told, but I’m not sure they would recognize themselves. The book tells the story of Anne, a 27-year-old application guru who coaches five high school seniors through the harrowing application process. I've always known. But I also, their child, was begging them. ‘Early Decision’ author Lacy Crawford breaks down the college admissions craziness for Lizzie Crocker. 11, 2017 8:44PM ET / Published Aug. 24, 2013 4:45AM ET It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. DETROW: As people continue to come forward with their stories of assault and violence, what would you say to someone who is trying to navigate this kind of violation and the systemic protections that seem to still snap into place when something like this happens? I'm going to make it public. Suddenly Harvard can brag about its 5.6 percent—or whatever it is—acceptance rate and parents get hysterical. And the anxiety these mothers face during this process—there are few people they can vent to. When supermodel and entrepreneur Cindy Crawford stepped foot into the first calculus class of her college career, she -- like her fellow students -- expected to learn about mathematical concepts. Those students go on to become luminaries - judges, authors, even secretaries of state. Detectives happened across documents that were in my student file that really outlined how the school had planned to silence me. That may be a mark of how young and naïve I was when I started. At this point in the summer, most high school juniors are already acquainted with the horrible agony that is the college admissions process. Those students go on to become luminaries - judges, authors, even secretaries of state. But I think for a long time, we've tried to help survivors of violence of all kinds by asking them to change how they feel about themselves. And Lacy Crawford joins us now from her home in Southern California. I have students who are applying to six or seven places early action. She documents that assault at the school and its long aftermath in her new memoir, "Notes On A Silencing." DETROW: There's been an excerpt in Vanity Fair. They’ve taken the expensive SAT prep courses, visited at least a dozen campuses, and spent weeks agonizing over their personal essays. A 14-year-old Lacy Crawford, just before beginning her time at St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire. We are the better for those brave voices bringing their experiences forward, and we are committed to hearing and responding to their demand for recognition, accountability and change. LACY CRAWFORD: Anne doesn’t encourage Hunter to write as though he’s sending an email to his girlfriend because she wants a flirtatious tone in his college essay. How did you finally settle on the language you wanted to use? I just wanted to be an ordinary teenage girl. I started when I was three. The currency was talent, not academic achievement. CRAWFORD: Had they been aware of the things that I know now, I have no doubt they would've made different choices. I know some parents got their hands on early copies of the book. Application rates have soared and admissions rates have plummeted. Why that decision to, after all of that - you know what, I'm going to talk about this? Indeed, the personal essay in particular causes students and parents to tear their hair out, knowing it could make or break their application. High school and college career. How did we go from regular old college admissions to seven ‘early action’ applications and 11 personal essays? That, to me, tells me that the conversations that I think institutions need to be having are actually possible because if a man in this instance is willing to write to me and claim his friends, I think the kind of evolution that I'm seeing in people's willingness to be thoughtful, to reach out is, to me, at least new. Lacy Crawford served for fifteen years as a highly discreet independent college admissions counselor to the children of powerful clients in cities such as New York, Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and London. A quick heads-up - this next conversation has some content that some listeners will find difficult to hear. Are you anxious about people contacting you once the book comes out? And it’s gotten awfully complex. So obviously, that was a very difficult decision, and it's not a decision that I ever would've come to had I not participated in the New Hampshire state investigation into St. Paul's School that began in 2017. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted by two fellow students one night in October 1990. Have any former students or parents contacted you recently? LACY CRAWFORD: Anne doesn’t encourage Hunter to write as though he’s sending an email to his girlfriend because she wants a flirtatious tone in his college essay. 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